The dour damsel
Jade Lowbar
once ran a Cynic Clinic

Which marketed to
optimists Jade’s
“Cynic Fixaminic.”

Half-empty cups
were all Jade offered
to her sunny guests

In hopes they’d look
back and agree
that “What Was” was the best.

As time went on
Jade’s blue drink grew
famous with blue folks
…then others, too…

To not be happy
got sooo cool
it got too cool for
kids in school.

So Jade shelved plans
for “Grown and Groan”
her new sad syrup because

Adults didn’t need
and kids didn’t want
help celebrating “What Was.”


Skedaddle whistles
To move along Padiddle
Who cannot decipher
The Hurry-Up Riddle

of faster, quicker,
sooner, more,
of pick up your feet
and get out the door.

When Skedaddle says
Padiddle says
Don’t worry.

If Padiddle wonders,
Why rush?
Skedaddle says,

When Skedaddle asks
How should we go?
Padiddle answers,
Definitely Slow.

If Padiddle refuses
to move fast
Skedaddle’s expression
becomes aghast.

If they were horses
Skedaddle’d be at the battle
while Padiddle lagged back
fixing his saddle.

The Airship Padiddle
would relax at the gate
while Skedaddle soared off
from the chance to be late.

Though their names sound alike
they work no more the same
than a fiddle and rattle.


Charter Members, The Scowl So-Sigh-ety

The Scowl So-sigh-ety
meets way back in Angry Alley,
Deep in the heart of Distasteville
across Disgruntled Valley.

If you’ve never met them
I suggest you stay away,
unless, of course,
you love looking for clouds on sunny days.

If so, run to their next meeting,
frowning’s the sole entry fee,
So show a grumpy face, complain,
and join the Scowl So-Sigh-ety.

To see The Scowl So-Sigh-Ety as a #StellerStory, click the image below.

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Has his old broken down Honda
got your dog into a jam?
Did your goldfish back his Ford
into an unsuspecting lamb?

Then come pay us a visit
– now don’t delay or stop! –
Yes, come see Sam Cram’s world renowned
Pet Automotive Shop.

We’ve got gaskets, gears and wipers
for every pets’ cars’ needs:
from the Jaguar racing horse
whose vintage Pinto’s lacking speed

to the calico who’s preference is
whitewalls on his Tacoma
and the ferret who wants front seats
reeking of Vanillaroma.

Yes, old Sam Cram the Pet Car Man
makes driving dreams come true
for domesticated motorists
and biped owners, too.


Oh what’s there to do
With Bob Poopadoo?

His name is funnier
Than “Timbuktu”

It sounds like a creature
Who lives in a zoo:

“Come see the Poopadoo, kids,
from the Land of Zamboo!”

And yet Bob is just
A regular guy

He can’t sleep underwater,
Or do cartwheels in the sky,

When he’s happy, he laughs,
When he’s sad, he cries,

He puts on his pants,
One leg at a time.

While on paper, yes,
He looks different, it’s true,

He’s no more strange,
Than me or you.

So perhaps when it comes
To Bob Poopadoo,

About nothing,
There’s really much ado.



The Foansillies never ending
quest is for a ring.
Their evergoing search occurs
staring at the Thing
gripped tight as their Foansilly
Palm can grip it.
From out of their hands
not a Strongman could rip it.

Forever I wondered
about this Foansilly way
‘til I met one once,
and said to him, “Hey,
Should a ring from that Thing
one day arise,
how will you contain yourself
at the surprise?

For it seems all Foansillies
spend all their time searching,
Has any among you
yet found anything?
Or could it be, maybe,
that there is no ring??”

This Foansilly laughed at me,
“No, of course not.
There are so many rings, there are more than a lot.
It isn’t one ring
we Foansillies chase.
It’s the next ring…then the next…on and on.  like outer space!”

I said, “But that search sounds like
time not well spent.”
“Well perhaps,” he replied,
“Our name’s no accident.”