Never forget the fella
who sits after M, before O,
without him, my friend, you’d be fried,
all things nice would feel like ice: cold.
Happy sand would be sad,
every band would be bad,
and bananas, like sheep,
simply baaa.
So respect that letter,
just one past halfway,
who keeps windows from being widows,
everywhere, everyday.
Coelacanth
scimitar
sconce and crèche
are words in which you can see
A flexible fungible
letter with moxie,
the magical malleable
letter C.
It’s silent it’s loud
it’s subtle it’s proud
it comes after A and B,
Coy crazy clandestine
Cantankerous cirrus
The bendable mendable
letter C.
UNBE-C-ABLE: Coelacanths are famous fish from the Indian Ocean, which borders on Asia, where curved swords called scimitars were created. (Illustration by PaC)
W is twice the U
of what the letter U can be,
exactly double the U
of that guy just left of V.
True, U may be one of just five
a vowel like E-I-O,
but among letters only
W comes stereo:
with a U on either side of you
for lovely surround sound
of the doubly-U-est letter
living in Alphabetowne.
Q is a letter
that sounds like a word
spelled without it:
c-u-e,
That looks like an O
with a little pigtail
hanging down from
its little Q booty.
Q rarely is seen
without U by its side
(but don’t make a big deal,
Q, too, has its pride)
A dependent letter
with an independent mind
is Q.
S appears crooked
but it’s a straight line
that separates many and one:
The tall fence between
a taste and a lot
of cookies or pieces of gum.
Take a singular thing,
tack to it one S,
and instantly there is more of it ;
That’s how this two-turned
pluralizer divides
with skill that most barriers covet.
(Drawing: PaC)Whenever you’re feeling
unsure what to do
Then you know what it’s like
every day to be U
Who starts out one way
then turns ‘round halfway through,
no letter’s less decisive
or, maybe, more confused.
Perhaps U’s resemblance
to a horseshoe
Dragged U through the mud
so U’s ego got bruised.
And if U didn’t have
spare ego to lose,
Then U probably grew sheepish.
Imagine, wouldn’t you?
So if one day self-doubt
jams you up with the blues,
Think how hard it would be
if your mirror showed U.
It marks the spot
From the last it is third
But for x-ray
It starts almost no words.
Expunges
Expires
Examines
Extolls
Elixir, a mixer
Ex post facto.
In both cases it looks the same
Like Cousin C
It’s a cross only not straight up
Like Cousin T.
Explaining
Exerting
Expatriating
Extant, exacting
Exasperating
There’s no alphabet king
No one “Letter Rex”
But in Alphabetowne
There’s no one quite like X
H is a letter that sounds like a word
spelled a-t-c-h-e,
that looks like one rung on the alphabet ladder
that stretches from A to Z.
H can give a lift
even when h is small,
and resembles
a ladderback chair,
So when H appears
Instead of “Ho-hum,”
Think,
“A humble helping hero is here!”
On July 3
We celebrate C,
Among the letters
None is better.
FOR MORE from the Tweed Typewriter’s Twisted Tour of Alphabetowne, click here.
To be like
the letter O,
around and around
you must go.
Turn all day
but corners resist,
like a gyroscope-dreidel-top
let spinning persist.
Then when a donut
Is in your looking glass –
Holey Hula-hoop, you’ve made it! –
You’re an O at last.
Pan-O-Ramas, from Top:
The Boardwalk, Ocean City, NJ ;
The Palace Theater, Albany, NY ;
John Boyd Thatcher State Park ; Voorheesville, NY ;
Photos: PaC
A-I-O and-U agree
in their eternal love for E,
that vitamin that helps the vowels
sound like who they be.
When a mat needs a mate
or a lobe comes from a lob,
when the slim become slime
that’s ol’ E on the job.
Who can make a rat rate?
can make a shin shine?
can make a hug huge?
or make a fin fine?
E looks like an afterthought
tacked there on the tail
but without E on occasion
the vowels self-esteem might fail.
So when tin must be a tine
When a lug must luge
When a pin need be pine
just one letter will do.
EvidEncE – Except in baseball, Es are tremendously helpful.
M is the camel of letters
recognizable for its two humps.
Without them both, m would be n,
as in neasles,
conputer,
and nunps.
M comfortably takes on the task
of being the milestone
halfway on the road
through Alphabetowne
‘tween A’s aura and the Z-zone.
And though M sounds like
M starts with an e
– eh-hem –
that isn’t the case.
M is his own man:
A pivotal camel shaped pal
Midway through the race.
DON’T LOOK CLOSE: Look far. And you May just see an M in this iMage from
the Mellow Mushroom, Oak Street, New Orleans. YuMM.
Tweed Typewriter 