THE ZEN HEN: On Self-Awareness

Whatever you are, be a good one,
Unless you’re a cottonhead,
Unless you’re a Q-Tip.

Presenting the Zen Hen of WIsegger Farms

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NOT POSITIVE ID

When she brought home
my new kid sister
Mom said,
“Say hello to Carrie.”

I thought that’s what Mom said,
but am I certain?
Well, no.
Not very.

Because Dad calls the kid
“L’il Chicken”
or
“Queen of Sheba-Geneeba Sleuth.”

While Mom says to her,
“Just look at you,
My Sweet Precious Little
Houndstooth!”

Gramma sings
“Hi Boo-ga-loo,”
while strolling baby
‘round the block.

Grampa asks Dad
for pictures of
“My favorite l’il
Cuckoo Clock.”

Me?
I’ve learned:
forgetful silly tongued grownups
can be scary.

Lucky for my sister
I for one
will be sticking with her real name:
Carrie.

HOOT TO BLAME

Jimmy blames the neighbor’s dog
Janie blames her sore toe
Billy blames the creaky floors
Brenda blames El Niño.
Katie blames tectonic plates
Kurt blames daylight savings
Paul blames operator error
Pam blames riboflavin.

Who knows for sure which blame is real
and which is full of fizz,
or why so many folks get kicks
from the finger pointing biz.

DUTCHFINGER - A very close look at a hand on one of the statues that depict in three dimensions Rembrandt's "The Night Watch" - Rembrandt Square, Amsterdam (PHOTO: PaC)

DUTCHFINGER – A very close look at a hand on one of the statues that depict in three dimensions Rembrandt’s “The Night Watch” – Rembrandt Square: Amsterdam, The Netherlands (PHOTO: PaC)

A BASKET CASE

UPDATED 3-26-16: To read this poem as a STELLER STORY, click on the photo below.

Screen Shot 2016-04-02 at 11.18.07 PM

Last year’s Easter egg hunt
was in the old cornfield.
Now it seems that day
not every egg was revealed

and that from those left back
are this year being born
acres and acres of stalks
sprouting tiny eggcorns.

Nature’s packaged each one
in a shell in a husk,
so cracking the eggcorns
is a rusty padlock fuss.

But once their outer layers
are opened up and clean
the cob yolks deep inside
are like nothing that you’ve seen:

Purple, pink, and yellow,
orange, blue, and jade,
all the prettiest pastels,
every springtime shade.

Just how nature made this magic
Science is still figuring,
but one thing learned so far:
is mighty omelets
from the tiny eggcorns spring.

AN EASTER EGG RAINBOW

Eggcorns are the kernel of a colorful Easter breakfast. (Photo: PaC)  

SEA-SONA-NON-GRATA

Be gone Old Man Winter,
You’ve had your prance.
I’ve already put away
all my corduroy pants.

April is half gone now,
the green grass is showing,
so much that I can hear
folks down the street mowing.

Baseball has returned,
we’re all thinking spring
nobody has interest
in one last icy fling.

You’re in this year’s rear view
as we head forward,
away from you Winter,
and the hot summer toward.

After the long, drab winter, popped lilacs are like purple pyrotechnics. (Photo: PaC)

After the long, drab winter, popped lilacs are like purple pyrotechnics. (Photo: PaC)

LAMENT OF THE ART SCHOOL FLUNKEE

How I wish I could draw
something more than a saw
or a hammer’s blunt butt
or its backside, the claw.
My paintings are messy
and sculpture all lumpy,
the sweaters I knit
make their wearers look frumpy.
By far my sketchpad
is my art at its best
and at best it looks like
a burnt scrambled egg mess.
The needlepoint, woodwork
and origami I’ve tried
Have not earned even one
complimentary lie.
So I’ll stick to my pen
and make it make words
and stop drawing things like
flocks of V-line birds.

FLOCK OF V-GULLS : A failsome foursome by The Art School Flunkee

RAINBROKEN

Red is dead,
Green can’t be seen,
Blue’s invisiblue,
Orange is gone, too.
Yellow, fine fellow,
And Purple have failed.
So the last working part of my markers
 — sniffle –
The caps
— sniffle, sniffle –
are for sale.

(Photo:PaC)

ALL THAT YOU CAP LEAVE BEHIND — In the world of markers, caplessness is next to colorlessness.(Photo:PaC)

ON THE FLY

“No one likes a fly,”
said the Fly with a sigh.
“No matter what I try,
they shoo me into the sky.”

“Hogwash,” said a voice, followed by a tap.
“Come tell me your story, come sit on my lap.
Sounds like you, Fly, have received a bad rap.”
“Who’re you?” asked the Fly. “Why, I” the voice said, “am the Venus Fly Trap.”
MUNCH!