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TOY, STORY
FAKE MOVIE POSTERS: Moonstruck 2049
LARRYING UP
THEY WRITE STORIES ABOUT THIS TIME OF YEAR
THE HULKSTER and THE BOLSHEVIK
BURN, BABY, BURN
WHEN BAD GUYS GONE GOOD SEND SEASON’S GREETINGS
DON’T STOP BELIEVING
BELLY, BELLY
Dad had many sayings:
By George!
By Jove!
Great Scott!
and
No matter what you think,
There is a lid for every pot!
But we knew we’d really boiled
His patience into jelly
When with wide eyes he whispered,
By Roosevelt’s horse’s belly!
We don’t know where it came from
We don’t know what it meant
Except it was time for our
Misbehaving to relent.
T.R., I bet, would dig the line
Most likely, too, his horse.
His horse’s belly would think it
Poetry, of course
Even better than the classic
One-worder of Ted’s, “Bully!”,
Its cousin, Dad’s much longer fave,
“By Roosevelt’s horse’s belly!”
PRECORDED HISTORY
A caveman carved a photo
With a lens of stone:
Of a bubbling tar pit,
Of brontosaurus bones,
Of a running horse
In a French cave drawing,
Of a sabretooth with
His t-rex neighbor, jawing.
Then going “MOTION PICTURE”
He shot two glaciers racing,
The footage looked like still shots ;
Blame the racers pacing.
Capturing the land before time,
His stone Nikon in hand
A photog Missing Link he was
The Caveman Cameraman.
EARLY TURTLE POWER
ON KIDS
HOMEMADE STEFON: A Visit to Gotham Got-Ham
It’s been quite a few weekends since Stefon last updated us on New York’s hottest clubs.
So this week rather than yearn for a new recommendation from him, I wrote one.
ONE SUMMER ROADMAP
Collected from May to today
From New Orleans to Albany
These shots together form a
FlyIreWerDelis.
Buzzing, brightening
Petals, pavement,
Earth, sky, shining sea:
A mashed-up summer roadmap bouquet,
The FlyIreWerDelis

For more photos, check out my Instagram gallery at tweed_typewriter
ON ARA
Click the link above to visit Instagram and see both photos from the Ara Parseghian statue at the Miami University Cradle of Coaches.
THE ZEN HEN: On Diligence
If in the world’s largest pig pen
the assignment you receive is
to install a country mile of fine tile,
pay no mind if the farmer’s blind
grab a bucket, trowel, and towel
and until that floor’s all in
stay snout to the grout.
UPDATED 10/28/17 with a graphic version:
CHRISTMAS CLOUD COVER
Christmas night rain
Was causing trepidation
For reindeer who worked
Through precipitation.
There were no good galoshes
To cover a hoof
And also give traction
To walk on a roof.
A red nosed windshield wiper
Had not been invented
A slicker for antlers
Nowhere could be rented.
So wet Christmas Eves
Rudolph would fear
Along with his team
Until finally one year,
They became so distracted
Checking the weather
Their boss caught wind of
His team’s ruffled feathers.
Mrs. Claus heard and said,
“Let me ring a friend.
I bet once and for all
Their concerns we can end.”
A couple weeks later,
It was early December,
A large package arrived addressed
KRINGLE TEAM MEMBERS.
As he opened it Saint Nick whispered,
“What have we got here …
‘SAINT ELLA UMBRELLA’S
REINDEER RAIN GEAR’?!?”
“Just in time,” said Mrs. Claus
walking in, “it’s arrived.
Ella said she could help.
I knew that was no jive.”
The Reindeer Rain Gear
In the box was a boon,
With it on Santa’s team
Hoped they’d face a monsoon:
Water tight goggles,
Impervious slickers,
Treaded hoof booties,
Fur sealing knickers,
All there among Saint Ella
Umbrella’s tricks,
The Reindeer Rain Gear
For a wet Christmas fix,
Thanks to Mrs. Claus
And the power of friends,
Since that year the reindeer
Viewed rain through a new lens.