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Author Archives: Paul Camarata
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THE BARD OF FLUSHING
Re-Seeding the Weeding
Standing in the window
We saw out in the yard
Dad crouching and appearing
To be thinking very hard.
Before him lay the lawn
Which he ran both his palms through
Then he stood and snapped his fingers
Like he knew just what to do.
“Kids, congratulations!”
he said walking in the door,
“to the list of gifts we’re blessed with,
go ahead and add one more:
That rug of yellow flowers
We always viewed with alarm,
Is now the answer to the question,
‘Where’s your dandelion farm?’
“How close I came to mowing it
How lucky that I stopped!
How fortunes may have turned
If I’d ploughed our major crop:
“No dandelion tinctures,
Lost dandelion greens,
Zero dandelion wine
Or dandelion diaper creams!
“It proves how working hard
instead of smart can be a pox.
Why battle dandelion growth
When we’ve got it outfoxed?
“Now please excuse me kids,
this here farmer has had SOME day,
the land can wear you down, you’ll learn,
if on our farm you stay!”
Chuckling loudly as he exited
Dad didn’t hear us sighing,
Or see us window-squinting,
Picturing farming dandelions.
OFF SWITCH ON
Not working is no crime
during Gooftime,
when doodling, napping,
or day-dreaming are fine.
Gooftime is for play
and a while each day,
it’s a lighthearted state
worth at least a brief stay.
So try it and see
how much happier you’ll be
once you begin to
take Gooftime seriously.
“PUSH IT REAL GOOD” – The Envelope of Gooftime (art by PaC). For more Gooftime art, check out this fabulous work by @sandeehjorth
WITH MY CAR WINDOWS ROLLED DOWN IN THE RAIN
The inside of my car is getting wet,
So I open an umbrella inside it,
I discover that it isn’t a great fit,
A convertible might be a better bet.
THE UMBRELLA CAR – (Drawing: PaC)
YOU CAN’T, LEAF!
You there, leaves,
Back on the trees!
You may NOT yet come down
And blanket the ground!
You must help us stall
The beginning of fall,
Because the end of summer
Would be such a bummer.
So up, up, you go
To those branches you know,
Back up in place,
This isn’t a race!
Then in one month feel free
To LEAP off the trees,
Right now I can’t take
The thought of a rake.
AUTUMNA NON GRATA – (Photo – PaC)
ON THE OTHER SIDE
I can see it there …
Just beyond the bus door …
Just down the bus stairs …
After just one stop more …
Hissing brakes
Lurching stop
Squeaky hinges
I stand at the top …
Then step step step, down I go,
When feet hit street it’s begun:
The summer, sweet summer, there it is, right there,
Just beyond the bus door, all that fun.
A THROAT IN THE FROG
From behind our house
a Bullfrog Chorale
serenaded us every night,
It started at eight
and stopped promptly at twelve
going off like the switch of a light.
While they bellowed and croaked
the frogs’ music we soaked
up in all of its ribbity splendor,
Thinking ‘This could be worse,
they could go on all night,
or their singing could sound like a blender.’
LUCIANO FROGAROTTI Famous amphibious tenor. (Illustration: PaC)
GRAINIACS
They have rice by the silo
Risotto by the truck
Without oatmeal or cornmeal
They’re never stuck.
Next to their quinoa
And rye piled high
They keep sorghum on hand
In mountains scraping the sky.
By a longshot there’s less
Pasta than Theirs in Italy
And certainly than Them
Ireland has less barley.
Maybe you think
They need granola?
About as much as
Coca needs Cola.
They are the Grainiacs
With more grains than you know
Now all they need is oceans
And oceans and oceans
(did I mention oceans?)
of water to make all those grains go.
NOT A SQUARE ANYWHERE
There was a block party
The Lincoln Logs hosted,
Being metal the Erector Set
Ran marshmallow roasting.
Like a social chair would
K’Nex networked non-stop,
The Magformers stuck together,
The Wood Letter Cubes did not.
The Megabloks, Nanobloks
And Kreos all came.
Jenga tried to sneak in again.
Why’s he so lame?
Often Bristle Blocks skip these things
But not this time:
They were chilling with Goldieblox,
Who, as usual, looked fine.
Typically they don’t
But the Play-Dohs got the invite,
But that wasn’t even
The big surprise of the night,
Which came when the Legos
Walked through the door
Their snap-on hair smooth
As they found the dance floor
Where they boogied down with
All the Playmobil ladies
When ‘New Kids on the Block’ played
The whole place went crazy.
Oh what a block party it was
It’s true,
Not a square anywhere,
And the Legos there, too.
THE CLOUDY CROWD
The dour damsel
Jade Lowbar
once ran a Cynic Clinic
Which marketed to
optimists Jade’s
“Cynic Fixaminic.”
Half-empty cups
were all Jade offered
to her sunny guests
In hopes they’d look
back and agree
that “What Was” was the best.
As time went on
Jade’s blue drink grew
famous with blue folks
…then others, too…
To not be happy
got sooo cool
it got too cool for
kids in school.
So Jade shelved plans
for “Grown and Groan”
her new sad syrup because
Adults didn’t need
and kids didn’t want
help celebrating “What Was.”
THE NAMING CONVENTION
Nick Name monikered all he met
with handles that explained
what were the things he noticed
that stuck most to Nick Name’s brain.
He’d say, “There goes Steamboat Sally
here comes Ragamuffin Joe!”
and Beany Fred and Jolly Jed
who if you saw you’d know
by those handles Nick Name issued
to organize his world
from Exotic Esmerelda
to the famed Non-Descript Girl.
SPUR CRAZY
Fewer things more
than The Duke on a Schwinn
embody the meaning
of Conveniently Texan
I got boots for fightin’ brutes
but love to sip from champagne flutes,
I get burrs on my spurs
but have a closet fulla’ furs.
There’s a Stetson on my head
on my belt a giant buckle,
but the aftershave I wear
comes from lovely honeysuckle.
Mama had me on the banks
of the mighty Rio Grande
but the outdoor life is one
of which I’ve never been a fan.
Rassle me from the Lone Star State
if you think you can
but if there’s one charge I won’t fight,
it’s I’m conveniently Tex-an.
HEART SHAPED NET
The very first fall
feels more like a leap
from a high cliff in to crystal blue.
But a real fall is different
often going unseen
until it’s the thing catching you.
SAND HASSLE
Go away birdies
leave me be,
I want to relax
here by the sea,
But your pecking is creepy
your breath smells like gill,
I want to sleep
and your cawing is shrill.
So go away birdies
go fly away,
there are no crackers here,
no reason to stay.
“Early Bird of Venice Beach” (Photo: PaC)
MANTISIZING
For what does the poolside mantis pray?
An umbrella drink,
A chameleon who’ll play?
Some clouds to give shade
From the heat of the day?
The salty breeze
Of a distant bay?
To escape the view
Of the hungry blue jay?
The showers of April
The flowers of May?
The observers’ wonder
But the mantis won’t say
For if anything what
By the poolside he prays.
(Photo: PaC)
CAN’T BE LICKED
All day I could eat ice cream
Then still have more at night
To say there is a time I can’t eat ice cream
is not right.
That’s why in all my belt loops
I hook on sixteen spoons,
It’s why at my house there’s
Ten freezers in each room
And toppings stashed inside the pocket
Of each coat I own
And why I’m working on a way
To eat ice cream through my phone.
Ice cream may not be perfect
But it’s very very close
So to sundaes, cones, and chipwiches,
Let’s raise an ice cream toast.
BuccanAir
The Pilot Pirate
flies a peg-leg plane.
The Pilot Pirate
keeps booty on the brain.
The Pilot Pirate
has a sneaky parakeet,
who’d rather have an aisle
than a window seat.
The Pilot Pirate
navigates sea and air.
The Pilot Pirate
doesn’t have a care.
The Pilot Pirate
makes the world his lair,
soaring and swording
and ARRRR-ing everywhere.
The Pilot Pirate
wears an eye patch,
and when putting it on, yells,
“Batten down the hatch!”
The Pilot Pirate
goes fast but doesn’t run,
because swashbuckling sweaty
ruins the fun.
This photo first appeared on Instagram. For more like it, click here.
LIFETIME GUARANTEE
Sidewalk chalk and bubble wands
make for fun outside,
brightening the pavement
and soaping up the sky.
So if your Worry Drain’s backed up
on any given day,
get some colored chalk, a jug of suds,
go outside and play.
(Photo: PaC)
letter perfeCt
Coelacanth
scimitar
sconce and crèche
are words in which you can see
A flexible fungible
letter with moxie,
the magical malleable
letter C.
It’s silent it’s loud
it’s subtle it’s proud
it comes after A and B,
Coy crazy clandestine
Cantankerous cirrus
The bendable mendable
letter C.
UNBE-C-ABLE: Coelacanths are famous fish from the Indian Ocean, which borders on Asia, where curved swords called scimitars were created. (Illustration by PaC)
THE EXCEPTIONAL PARENT: Opus No. 5
Don’t kick or head-butt
your brother at all,
unless he transforms
to a soccer ball.
BE RINDFUL
One small boy
can handle an apple,
A peach, a pear,
the largest strawberry.
One girl can devour
an orange, a fig,
a pile of dates
or even blueberries.
Between two pals
A giant grapefruit
or a big bunch of grapes
won’t very long last.
Among a few people
a bowlful of raisins
Or a pound of cherries
will be gone fast.
But above the rest
is one social fruit
That can only be consumed
by a large group that’s gelling,
Because like a village
raising a child
It takes a whole team
to eat one watermelon.
HEY SISTER, SOLSTICE-TER
BIG BREAK
Half way through October
Columbus is my best friend
For his famous trip that led us to
A three day-long weekend.
The next month comes the long weekend
When three days turn to four:
When we say, “Thanks, Thanksgiving,
For serving us that much more!”
There’s the great week-long weekends in
December and the spring,
They make me smile, yes,
But only one weekend makes me sing:
It begins the day that school lets out
Sending fun into high gear:
It’s the biggest best break ever,
The Longest Weekend of the Year.
At the start of it the end of it
Looks way further away
Than the New World looked from Europe
On an explorer’s set-sail day.
On this magical most-long weekend
That lasts a quarter year
You don’t need navigation,
It’s permissible to veer
From late nights to slow mornings,
There’s no brakes on this big break:
The Longest Weekend of the Year
Means having and eating your cake.
And when sadly in late August
The Longest Weekend ends
You’ll appreciate again Columbus,
Our three-day-gifting friend.
RADIO QUESO
On my Milwaukee Talkie
I can hear Racine,
And Green Bay and Kenosha,
And all the points between.
I can keep up on the Badgers,
The Brewers and the Pack,
And if for the 10000th time
Brett Favre is coming back.
On my Milwaukee Talkie
I love to talk up Pabst,
And how I don’t like the first name
Of Minnesota Fats.
The Bucks, Laverne and Shirley,
Alice Cooper, Happy Days,
have made the world talk about
Dear old Mill-ee-waugh-kay.
But if it’s not enough for you
To only hear about it,
If you need a special way
To celebrate and tout it
Then get and keep your own
Milwaukee Talkie by your bed
And before you sleep each night
Tune in to Channel Cheesehead.
Artist rendering of a Milwalky-Talky, produced by SONY subsidiary WISCONY.
