With a story
a folly
a costume
a song,
a card trick
a pratfall
a spitball
a gong,
A knock knock joke
a whoopy cushion
a riddle
or some mimicking,
a robot dance
an animal noise
tickling
or limericking,
Whether in a large group
or alone with one other
with a thing that you did
or a prank that you played,
In a way that was carefree
but never uncaring
did you make someone
laugh today?
THE MAN WHO MADE THE FOOTBALL FOLLIES: NFL Films Founder Ed Sabol
Dad claims “You
can’t see to
the bottom of a good cup of joe.”
I say good’er bad,
looking won’t make you glad
to have coffee up yer nose.
Beware the abyss of bottomless bliss … RESPECT THE MUGSTACHE! (Photo: PaC)
Clockventure, blockventure:
spend time to build towers.
Barefeetventure, carefreeventure:
no shoes means fun hours.
Dirtventures, wordventures:
dig a crossword a day,
Rockventure, dockventure:
anchors aweigh!
Of all size adventures:
“adbigs” to “adtads”
Only the nonventured ventures
are bad.
DEEP SEA PURPLE – Nothing says “weekend” quite like FDR having a smoke on the water. (Photog unknown)
It stampeded our fridge
the elephant garlic
and it simply cannot be contained.
First the plastic wrap failed
Then the rubber seals wailed
while the powerful funk has remained.
We washed down with water
As hot as white plasma
And vinegar (that had its own smell).
Still the garlicy musk
Pierces like a sharp tusk
Would through the old Liberty Bell.
But oh, what will free
Our air from this odor
Of garlic that’s making us sick?
Perhaps the stampede of
An actual elephant, in this case,
Would do just the trick.
Carry them as if your feathers
are all weather,
and you shall not be ruffled.
In our yard
a bird of pray
landed so discreetly.
I watched him stretch
his praying wings
then fold them up so neatly.
Of all the birds I ever seen
I never seen one looked so mean
or one who asked me from his perch,
“It seems I’m lost. Which way’s the church?”
Click above on the feasting flyer to flip to a story of a suburban bird love triangle. (Photo: PaC)
Run fast after your dreams
Always reach for the sky
Unless we’re in a store with fancy things
Then walk slow, palms pressed to your thighs.
No business card order
made Jim’s Print Shop squirm
like the monthly one from
the Dublin law firm
of “O’Billy, O’Biley, O’Riley, O’Connell,
MacDougal, MacTavish, MacCabbage, MacDonald,
Kilkenny, Kilpatrick, Fitzpatrick, Kilboyle,
McLanahan, Shanahan, Flanagan, Doyle.”
So many Dubliners would make almost any Jim’s head spin. (Photo: PaC)
Halfway through making pancakes
Pop Pop discovered
we had no maple syrup
inside our cupboard.
“But don’t worry,” Pop Pop said,
“now’s our chance to create
savory pancakes.
Oh boy, will this be great!
“Just imagine our options,”
Pop Pop cried from the stove.
“We can season’em with garlic
or basil, or cloves!
“We can mix in anchovies
and it won’t be odd!
We can use pesto, pepper
or olive tapenade!”
My brother and I
didn’t know what to say.
Pop Pop was so excited,
this was making his day.
He kept flipping pancakes
on and off of the griddle,
while suggesting side dishes
like Beef Jerky Brittle.
That’s when Mom walked in with
some bags from the store.
“We needed syrup,” she said,
“So I went to buy more.”
“Oh well,” Pop Pop said smiling,
“Savory pancakes must wait.”
“Gee, Pop,” I said, “too bad.
They were gonna’ be great.”
A bridge, a bricklayer
A vision, a skill
When talent won’t reach
Get there with will.
See it, do it, every day
Fashion a road over the fray:
Imagine the span, lay down the stone,
Create a destiny all your own.
My Nana’s a banana,
My Sis a koala bear,
My Mom’s a telephone pole,
My Dad’s a flannel chair.
My Aunt’s a little creepy,
My Poppy’s moustache props up his nose.
How would I describe myself ?
Well . . .
Just with my short sweet first name,
Rose.
(Photo: PaC)
“No one likes a fly,”
said the Fly with a sigh.
“No matter what I try,
they shoo me into the sky.”
“Hogwash,” said a voice, followed by a tap.
“Come tell me your story, come sit on my lap.
Sounds like you, Fly, have received a bad rap.”
“Who’re you?” asked the Fly. “Why, I” the voice said, “am the Venus Fly Trap.”
MUNCH!
Red is dead,
Green can’t be seen,
Blue’s invisiblue,
Orange is gone, too.
Yellow, fine fellow,
And Purple have failed.
So the last working part of my markers
— sniffle –
The caps
— sniffle, sniffle –
are for sale.
ALL THAT YOU CAP LEAVE BEHIND — In the world of markers, caplessness is next to colorlessness.(Photo:PaC)
When our Toaster refused to even warm bread
we were going to throw it away.
But we changed its name to a Noaster instead.
Now it works perfectly, every day.
NICE COOL BREAKFAST – One small apple juice and a freshly Noasted English Muffin. (Photo: PaC)
Whether your trough holds milk, water, or pop,
Drink a gallon before spilling a drop.
How I wish I could draw
something more than a saw
or a hammer’s blunt butt
or its backside, the claw.
My paintings are messy
and sculpture all lumpy,
the sweaters I knit
make their wearers look frumpy.
By far my sketchpad
is my art at its best
and at best it looks like
a burnt scrambled egg mess.
The needlepoint, woodwork
and origami I’ve tried
Have not earned even one
complimentary lie.
So I’ll stick to my pen
and make it make words
and stop drawing things like
flocks of V-line birds.
FLOCK OF V-GULLS : A failsome foursome by The Art School Flunkee
Pickled pig knuckles
have a smell like none udder
except the stinky feet
of my big brudder.
So though he stays up late
and that makes me jelish
I don’t envy how his
toes reek of bad relish.
Q is a letter
that sounds like a word
spelled without it:
c-u-e,
That looks like an O
with a little pigtail
hanging down from
its little Q booty.
Q rarely is seen
without U by its side
(but don’t make a big deal,
Q, too, has its pride)
A dependent letter
with an independent mind
is Q.
Jimmy blames the neighbor’s dog
Janie blames her sore toe
Billy blames the creaky floors
Brenda blames El Niño.
Katie blames tectonic plates
Kurt blames daylight savings
Paul blames operator error
Pam blames riboflavin.
Who knows for sure which blame is real
and which is full of fizz,
or why so many folks get kicks
from the finger pointing biz.
DUTCHFINGER – A very close look at a hand on one of the statues that depict in three dimensions Rembrandt’s “The Night Watch” – Rembrandt Square: Amsterdam, The Netherlands (PHOTO: PaC)
If you see a weed pull it
out of the ground.
Help keep the weeds
from owning this town.
Most fresh greens are healthy
but weeds are not.
On the Big List of Bad Greens,
they rank right next to snot.
Dad’s gone on a trip
to the land of Sweeten,
and we just can’t imagine
all the sugar that he’s eatin’!
He says the Sweetish countryside
is like none you’ve seen.
So I just bet it’s miles and miles
made of cake and jelly beans.
And where the Sweetish lands end
Dad says on one side is Finland.
Where I’m sure the locals swim well
being that they’re Fin-men.
Dad also said the other side
of Sweeten’s known as Norway.
(The Neitherlands oughta be part of that,
Maybe it will someday.)
Why some places are called what
often is a mystery,
but not Norway, Finland, or Sweeten,
the clearest named places in history.
Tweed Typewriter 